I just Googled “What sex is Nyquist?” Nyquist was the horse that won this year’s Kentucky Derby (equine gender keeps me up at night). A menu dropped down of most frequently asked “What sex is……” questions, the most popular being “What sex is my baby?” “What sex is my baby?” was number one! Don’t people know the sex of their babies? This prompted a new question for Google. I typed, “Do people know what penises look like?” On the dropdown, the first “Do people…” option was, “Do people use QR codes?” Ya know what Google, why don’t you worry about how YOU'RE using QR codes, not how everyone else is? The first dropdown option for “Why don’t you…” was “Why don’t you do right?” I am doing right, Google. I’m asking questions. I’m looking for answers. That’s what life is about. Why don’t YOU get a life? Ha! The first “Why don’t you get….” question was “Why don’t you get a job?” Well asshole, I’m looking for a job. Job searching leads you down unexpected roads. Like trying to figure out what the goddam sex of Nyquist is!!? HE’S A BOY. Of course you’d never know that. YOU see a dick on a baby and think it’s a third leg! Ya know what, I’m done here. I need to find a job. Or do I? Let me ask Google.